Great Expectations

I was thinking today about how much pressure there is put on our expectations. What I have expected out of my experiences, versus the true reality of my situations. I usually begin every day with certain expectations of my day, subconciously of course.

Expectations:

Jeffrey will behave today.

I will do yoga for exactly one hour, and it will be awesome.

I will clean my house in its entirety, tackle the piles of laundry, and keep my children squeaky clean, all while looking my very best.

I will lose my temper only once today.

Reality:

Jeffrey had sensed my behavior urgency, and it fed into his extra 2 year old energy.

I had time for yoga, but found it better use for it taking a quick nap, or eating lunch.

I cleaned parts of my house, washed some of my laundry, and kept my children clean of obvious spots, all while wearing the same outfit I slept in the night before.

I kept mostly calm until after finding Jeffrey had emptied the contents of his diaper out into his room....

See what I mean?? It is these type of misguided expectations that can make us feel like we are not living up to set standards. My reality is much more messy. Literally! Nobody really cares if my house is messy, my children are sticky, or if I look like I just rolled out of bed. Trust me, I have apologized too many times for these very things. :)

She's back!!

Isabel (5)

Jeffrey (2.5)

Luke (Now 5 months)

Karin (4)

Well now, I know.....it has been way too long since my last post. About a year and half. My goodness, what happened to me? Everything! Entirely, as it seems.

I still have my wonderful husband. He is quite the man. I can learn a lot of lessons from his unconditional, loving nature. He is on the down slope of school, and is in the throws of interviews. He is in hot demand; that smarty pants husband of mine. His knowledge of electronics makes my head spin, almost literally.

I still have 4 children. Just not the same 4...

There is one that is gone, but one that is new.

Lovely Karin: 4 years old, asks questions constantly, and is very emotional. She is in preschool and loves numbers like her dad. I love that girl. Her kind motherly tendencies make me smile. She still has enough energy to run a small village; I am slightly jealous. :)

Precocious Jeff: 2.5 years old, accident prone, and has the hardest head of a child I have ever seen. He goes head first into everything, and I don't mean figuratively. He is cautious while being adventurous. I don't know how he does it. Not to mention he has the cutest and naughtiest smile when he does not want to listen. But, he loves like no other child of mine. When he loves, he really loves.

Sweet Isabel: 5 years old, adopted officially in April, and was born to be in my family. She has the most contagious giggle you have ever heard. She is in Kindergarten and is working so hard. She amazes me with her abilities all of the time. Developmentally 3-6 months of age, I lovingly refer to her as my "big baby". The day I adopted her was just as special as giving birth. She is mine, and I am hers, always.

Little Luke: 5 months old, a "mama's boy" to the max, and has the sweetest smile that melts my heart into butter. He looks so much like Jeff that it is almost scary. Nearly every moment with him has been sheer bliss. He is so content and knows his place in this family. He eats up every bit of attention from anyone who gives it, and I love that. He was absolutely the most wonderful gift saved for just the perfect time.

We are currently waiting on the sidelines for another foster child.

I am just looking forward to that phone call. Every child needs a mama...

I now do shift work on the weekends for my mom's foster children, and love every minute of it. I can't believe I have been a nurse now for over 7 years. You have a tracheostomy question?? I am your girl. A few week days, I watch a baby boy who was born on the same exact day as Luke. They are best buds, and are adorable together. I still love babies. Nothing has changed there. :)

We moved last summer to a bigger house to accommodate the size of our growing family. I love my house. Our bedroom is the only room upstairs, and is like my safe haven. It is so quiet and is my ultimate favorite room, ever! I am probably the biggest homebody if there ever was one. I love being home, in my comfy clothes, surrounded by my family.

We are blessed to get a new beginning every morning, which I am so grateful for. There are moments in the last year I would change, most I would not. But regardless, I have my beautiful family, my health, and my life.

I plan to live that life with my convictions, staying true to who I am, while I walk in my calling.

God is so good and his promises are true. I am an example of that.